PROJECT BEATDOWN
Darrell has been punching things one at a time like some kind of gentleman. Not anymore. I sat him down, showed him a boxing tape, and now he won't shut up about "combinations." This update is about one thing: the beatdown. This is a big one, so strap tf in.
EVERY TURN IS A COMBO NOW
- Darrell throws three punches a turn now instead of one. Same damage, just spread across more punches. He's not secretly hitting harder. He's just hitting more. Rude.
- He mixes it up himself: jabs, hooks, haymakers, the occasional headbutt. You don't pick. You just watch and nod like you taught him that.
- Rage still chains extra punches on top, and a full chain still ends on the uppercut. Some things are sacred.
TWO NEW WAYS TO RUIN SOMEONE'S DAY
- THE HAYMAKER. A big, slow, wide right hand. You'll see it coming. So will they. Doesn't help them.
- THE HEADBUTT. Rare. He winds up, shakes like he's about to sneeze, and drives his whole skull into their face. It STUNS: they lose their next swing and get little gold stars spinning around their head like a Saturday morning cartoon.
- Each enemy only falls for the headbutt once. After that they shake it off. Still hurts, just no stun. Infinite stuns made Darrell a god, and gods are boring.
THE DEATH BLOW
- The punch that's going to finish them now winds up in slow motion... and then comes in FAST. You'll know it's over a half second before they do.
THEY SOUND DIFFERENT TOO
- Every punch gets a little pitch shift now. Jabs are light and snappy, heavies are deep and meaty.
- The haymaker and the headbutt get their own sound: a deep THUNK, then the CRACK. The headbutt sounds like a bowling ball hitting a watermelon.
NO MORE FREE REGEN
- Darrell doesn't heal on his own anymore. Every HP he gets back now comes from something: level-ups, pickups, your dogs, your patches. His health bar finally means something.
NEW PATCHES
Three new patches built for the combos, with new art. My boy deserves toys.
- STOP HITTING YOURSELF: Three jabs in a row? He throws a fourth.
- THICK SKULL: Headbutts hit three times as hard and heal him. Nothing up there to hurt anyway.
- SAVED BY THE BELL: When he's low on hp, every headbutt stuns. No shaking it off. It's the one exception to the one-stun-per-enemy rule, and may just save Darrell's ass.
PATCH CHANGES
- Oh, hey. now doubles your whole first combo each fight instead of a single punch. You're welcome.
- The Ol Razzle Dazzle now stuns each enemy once, same rule as the headbutt. Fair's fair.
- True Grit is now THE regen patch: he heals between fights, and faster than he used to. Everyone else bleeds.
NEW: GAMEPLAY OPTIONS
For the truly hands-off among you. Both are off by default, in Options > Gameplay.
- Auto Path: At a fork, Darrell picks a lane himself. No timer, no waiting on you. He'll still tell you which way he went, because he's polite.
- Auto Opener (50% chance. You lazy bastard): Half your openings slam themselves. The other half are still yours. Auto openers don't count toward the achievement. Nice try.
That's it for now.
Go watch my boy throw hands.
Darrell's Trainer Not to Be Confused with Doc Louis,
Fun Adjacent