Hello Shizeheads™!
We're in the process of adding Steam Achievements to the game using our patented Shize™ LLC Achievement Management System™ - but we need a few days to check its all working on a live beta build for our testers.
During this time you'll be able to see the upcoming achievements, but you won't be able to unlock them until we release the achievement update on the main game branch. This should only take a few days to test, and then you'll be able to get into game and unlock the achievements that you so rightfully deserve!
Remember to Feel the Fizz Inside You™ and drink Shize™ every day!
- The Shize Board