I'm going to post this for a third and final time, because people always seem to like it:
"As you know, holometabolous metamorphosis is one of the most ghastly things in nature. The larva is driven by chemical imperatives to entomb itself alive in its own final skin. Then the absence of a protective juvenile hormone permits the activation of the imaginal discs embedded in its infant flesh. These spew forth a torrent of enzymes which tear apart most of its cells in a sort of quasi-digestive self-immolation, leaving it as basically a shiny bulging sac of goo in which the discs float, spinning new parts and organs round themselves out of the dissolved ex-caterpillar. When they’ve finished, the imago will explode out of its old skin like a John Carpenter special effect. Its wings at this point are still soft and soggy, with the consistency of used kitchen paper, so it’ll have to hang upside down, dry off and pump hemolymph into its wing-veins before it can take off and make innocent humans coo over its beautiful colours.
Anyway, so the point we’re at is that I’ve spun a cocoon round Cultist Simulator and I’ve pumped enough liquefying enzymes into it that it’s more goo than game at this point. This is progress."
The last paragraph, I'm pleased to report, is now out of date. Cultist Simulator has emerged from its cocoon after its rewrite. After a long period of what I would love to call spectacular buggery, if that didn't mean something else that had nothing to do with bugs, but 'Spectacular Buggery' sounds like a band name or a minor David Foster Wallace novel or perhaps an exhibition at the ICA c.1985, right? Where was I? I've lost my glasses. Here they are. Oh Lottie's bringing me a cup of tea, that's nice. I'm fifty years old now, you know.
CULTIST SIMULATOR REWRITE
It's live. To be clear, 'Metamorphosed Edition' means 'free update', not another thing you need to buy.
Yes, this does mean we're still supporting the game four years after launch. Steam Deck version at some point soon.
Some highlights:
(1) more stable save format.
(2) better modding support.
(3) A lovely glow to show you where the card's going.
(4) Verbs no longer shoulder cards out of the way. I should put exclamation marks after this, shouldn't I, to show how exciting all this is, because that's how people do on Steam updates.
(5) Hey folks, welcome to the latest update, I'm excited to announce we've got a dropzone for verbs!
(6) Some mildly interesting extra behaviour for when things get consumed!!
(7) better font support for Central and Eastern European languages!!!
(8) You can combine DECAYING CARDS in a SINGLE STACK under some circumstances!!!!!
(9) ***RIGHT-CLICK TO SEND A CARD TO A VERB SLOT***!!!!!!!!!!!
(10) An incredibly arcane fix which may resolve a highly specific RNG quirk where the Stag Door wasn't quite random. I can't bring myself to put an exclamation mark after that though.
A heartfelt thank you to everyone who's provided patient and detailed feedback over the last few months, and a wry but also heartfelt thank you to everyone who's provided grumpy or vague feedback.
FAQ
Q. Something's broken what I do
A. Mail us at [email protected]. Although if you have a bunch of mods try uninstalling them first, because otherwise my response after a week when I've caught up with all my email may be 'try uninstalling those mods I can see in the player.log'
Q. Where are player.log
A. If something breaks, you'll probably get the notorious Helpful Kitten Screen. Hit the Log FIles button on that. Or mail us, I have autoreplies for 'where to find log files' on various OSs
Q. New Cultist content pls
A. All new content has to be localised into four languages now, so there's not likely to be any new Cultist content. On the other hand I am now writing this:
https://store.steampowered.com/app/1028310/BOOK_OF_HOURS/
Q. BOOK OF HOURS WHEN!!!!
A. It still says 2022, it might be 2023. There's been all kinds of fuckery, as some of you know. BUT we'll be announcing a closed alpha soon.
Q. Can I have a plug for your books
A. No, it's Steam, they frown on that
Q. Oh go on
A. Oh okay
https://secrethistories.net/provocations
https://secrethistories.net/snare
If you don't like Amazon, or want the funky Suppression Bureau embossed edition, try this: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/weatherfactory
Q. What's with those dice in the cover image?
A. They're made out of people. Retired medical skeletons, to be precise. Surprisingly beautiful. If you're looking for a Winter-aspected item, that's them, and if you're looking for a reference to end a blog post, Winter's always good. Or 'like and subscribe', I guess.
AK