Premature Evaluation is the weekly column in which Steve Hogarty explores the wilds of early access. This week Steve pits googly-eyed warriors against one another in Totally Accurate Battle Simulator
Developer: Landfall
Publisher: Landfall
Release: Out now (early access)
On: Windows, Mac OS X
From: Steam
For: 11.39, $15, 12.49
Back at PC Zone magazine, where I was born out of an egg, it was my job to take the raw copy submitted by our freelance writers, strip out most of the sexism and veiled threats against politicians, and produce a polished and well structured review that was legally fit for publication. One of the most commonly deleted and cliched introductions to any game about a war (which was almost every game back then) went as thus. War, huh? What is it good for? Well, this game for a start. If you ve never read those words in that order before, send a thank you card to your nearest editor today.
I can still picture the freelancer s wide-eyes and self-satisfied grin as they smashed the enter key, confident that they had just invented a cool and original way to begin a review about wars. Bam! Now there s an opening line, they would say, half laughing to themselves in disbelief that the very first thought that occured to them could be so brilliant, so perfect. Then they would lean back in their chair and run their hands through their hair like Christian Bale having just done a murder. I know this because I was that writer, once. Asking what war is good for and then saying it s the game you re writing about is a rite of passage for any games journalist, like finding out that you re not allowed to use the words gameplay or visceral , even when you re talking about guts spilling out.