Welcome,

This is the first official update post for this title on the Steam page. Basically, I'm throwing this up here mostly to test how to click things around and what this whole system finally looks like once the text goes through Gaben's machine.

🟢 Orc Ki-Shak enters the turf

So this update isn't completely about nothing, I humbly announce that I managed to squeeze the recently iconic Orc Ki-Shak into the game. He has been hooked up to the Cards of Destiny system. After rudely throwing this card onto the shovel, the game summons the legendary, green-skinned fugitive from the mine (who fled right after beating up a miner).

For a solid 60 seconds, this new sidekick of Dracul absolutely and with total impunity punches the surrounding hobos, drawing their attention, and then simply briskly walks away from this Romanian land.

View game page

📺 SZKELETAL in databases

By the way, I recently added info about our slop to some global databases. What does this mean in practice? More or less that if someone is deranged enough to stream this junk on platforms like YouTube or Twitch, they already have the game in their system.

An example from Twitch:
https://www.twitch.tv/directory/category/szkeletal (Unfortunately, due to some messed up IGDB rules, the moderators didn't approve the full, epic title with "Estrogen Dracul", but only the main part, and not even in all caps... Well, whatever. The info is in the databases. Now I just have to somehow push this marvel into the polish PPE or GOL databases ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))

📅 What's next and when is the release?

I'd like to release this junk in July, but sometimes the work moves at a snail's pace, so I don't even know if I'll make it by the end of August. Nevertheless, there is progress on the Rzeszów boulevards:

• I have practically implemented all the rewards from our poor-man's crowdfunding on Gamefound.

• I ported the code to ElectronJS so it somehow works standalone without slaughtering your browser.

• I added support for multiple CPU "corez" so this crap runs a tiny bit smoother (because the further into the forest, the worse it got, though it's still no miracle).

What's left? Soon I'll drop in Steam API support to hook up those useless Achievements and Leaderboards for you. And then there's the issue of gluing in new mobs or weapons, which will probably take the longest.

For the very end, I left the worst part: BALANCE. Currently, it practically doesn't exist here, and making this chaos make any sense will be an absolute agony. Maybe I'll do some beta testing to gather your free feedback. Yes, I know this game is still slop guano and doesn't aspire to be anything higher, but if I'm going to release it on Steam and ask for money, let people at least be slightly less disappointed rather than more.

I guess that's it for the news right now.

Bearable!