Hello Quacks and Quackettes! Today’s top story is focusing on the city’s biggest construction crew, Quackers & Sons, and their biggest construction project, the Monte Quacko!
Our investigation began almost a year ago when ground broke for the mega casino, the Monte Quacko. At the time, this land was set to be used as a city park and community clinic, but thanks to a well placed phone call and donation, it was rezoned to become a casino. This feathered reporter found it remarkable that such a massive building was completed so quickly, I had to dig deeper.
The Monte Quacko had the contractor Quackers & Sons to handle construction for the casino. A reputable business, known for their ability to build quick, pass inspection later mentality. The company prides itself in giving ducks a second chance at a meaningful career, offering construction work to pretty much anyone who asks.
“We got one rule in this business.” says Foreman Quackers of Quackers & Sons, “Don’t rat, you rat, yous end up uh, up the river.”
When we asked for further explanation of what that meant, we were told it meant he would be “going upstate” which still confuses this reporter.
The Monte Quacko project has been marred in controversy as continued setbacks pushed opening day further and further away.
“Oh it was bad when we found Elvis.” says a construction worker who wishes to stay anonymous, “he got stuck in the floorboard, no one could get him out, I tell you hes buried in there.”
Our intrepid reporters were able to find themselves in the break area of the casino, the construction crew had built a small patio space with camping chairs lit by the unfinished neon lights. They asked one of the workers if any of this was up to code, to which he responded: “Code?”
This feathered investigator believes this construction crew is alright.
Until next time readers! We will continue to find the HOTTEST stories, brought straight to your ponds!
Written by Seymor C. Quackers, Investigative Journalist