Greetings, friends of Shlorp!
Here’s a brief transmission about what’s new at Alien HQ including the latest previews, playtests, and feature explanations. Discover what will be coming next with the Abduction Update this summer and get ready for increased levels of excitement!
Coming this summer with the Abduction Update
In the previous Goopletter, we already shared a first glimpse on the upcoming update including details on these cosmic curiosities:
Fully Automated Restocking Technician (code name F.A.R.T.)
Giuseppe
Battery System
While you were pushing Earth operations to maximum absurdity, we were busy synthesizing even more player-feedback based extras to make the next update even more fun for you.
Take a look below!
Work In Progress — Probing rework, Goopster Fridge & placeable walls
Alien HQ Disclaimer: The following content is still being developed, tested, and occasionally sent into a parallel dimension. Everything shown here is a work in progress and may change before it is approved for deployment to Earth.
Probing rework
Based on feedback provided by you, we have reworked the way probing works. You will now need to prime your prober before using it. Tests indicate an increased smooth sliding rate of 67.1%. Humans will also notice when you are probing someone near them, so make sure your new Distractor Tool is ready!
Apologies for the low-resolution footage. This transmission traveled through one too many wormholes.
The probing minigame will get clearer.
Since every body is unique and to boost the realism, different NPCs will get different difficulty settings.
Goopster Fridge
You asked: “Is there a better place to store my Goopsters than on a pile in the corner of my Alien Room?” And the answer is yes! You will be able to equip a Goopster Fridge to store your Goopsters and keep them fresh and fizzy.
Enjoy an ice-cold Goopster whenever you need that extra bit of energy.
We might revisit the functionality of the Goopster Fridge in a future timeline.
Placeable walls
Humans seem to love getting trapped in consumerism. Accordingly, we noticed that your gas station does not resemble an equally optimized maze yet. To make it harder for your research subjects to escape your shenanigans, Alien HQ will grant you the ability to place walls.
Use placeable walls to give the gas station your very own claustrophobic twist.
Join the next update’s playtest
Alien HQ is looking for volunteers as it’s preparing an exclusive test build. Be among the first to check out the Abduction update, share your observations, and help us calibrate the content before its official release.
Here is what playtesters are expected to do:
Play the test version solo or with friends.
Give feedback: what do you like, what is confusing, what is less fun that you thought?
Share any bugs you encounter for us to zap them before release!
As a playtester, you will be able to switch between the live version of the game and the limited-access test version at any time. This means you can always return to the stable, regular version of the game whenever you want.
Do you want to be a test subject with exclusive access to an early version of the next update?
Join our official Discord to stay informed, get all instructions, and enlist for playtests!
The recruitment will start soon!
Feature Q&A — How many trash cans are enough?
Attempting to comprehend primitive human behavior in combination with our superior alien technology might make your head's glow glands work overtime. To prevent cranial overheating, we answer your most burning questions here!
Question: If I put out more trash cans, do they get used?
Answer: Yes. Customers will use all normal, empty trash cans and choose empty ones over littering next to full ones.
Currently, trash cans have an unlimited range, and customers choose them randomly. This means that it does not matter where you place it exactly as customers might ignore a trash can at the entrance to get to the one at the back door, for example. On that note, we think we might look into tweaking this system in the future.
Upgrade to an automatic Alien Trash Scanner which never needs emptying and generates Alien Points.
Question: When would it come in handy to place several trash cans?
Answer: Especially in Early Game or when playing solo, you might not find the time to empty trash cans regularly. If you then place several trash cans, you can prevent customers from throwing trash on the ground.
Alternatively, you can unlock the automatic Alien Trash Scanner (Auto Trash Can) which never needs to get emptied and produces Alien Points.
Community Corner — Winner of F.A.C.E. Competition & Chaos with the crew
Whether you caused extraterrestrial chaos or carefully maintained the lowest Suspicion Levels while snapping the perfect pics with your buddies... thank you for sharing your creations with Alien HQ! We love to see you thrive in the bizarre habitat that is planet Earth!
F.A.C.E. Community Competition Winner: Moo
Congratulations, Lokiya! After surviving 4 tough K.O. rounds, the community has spoken and crowned your F.A.C.E.* as the very best! This means that your F.A.C.E. will be added to the eternal honor halls of Roadside Research!
(* Faux Anthropoid Camouflage Exoskin)
The intergalactic community has decided that Moo is the best disguise!
This winning design is going to be released as a preset in the upcoming update for all undercover operators to enjoy this amazing creation!
Chaos with the crew
Sharing is caring! This also applies to the gargantuan responsibility that comes with preparing for the invasion of Earth. Here are the best snapshots of our most social operators.
Always remember: Friends that goop together, stay together!
Ada Blunt’s squad warming up for a sneaky agent photoshoot.
There’s always tea at Toaster’s water cooler... and it’s outta this world!
Ash and their mates shake what their Goopmama gave them! 
This is the stuff ÉoLACRIMEEfi’s crew pulls when you’re already overstimulated after a 25h shift. 
Twinning is winning at six’s very human gas station.
Jelampun and their coworker think everything is a two-alien job.
At Yakutorange’s gas station, the staff is waiting to greet new test subjects customers.
Stephanie.beth practices probing with friends before they get goopy with agents.
Dancing “the human” with your bestie is a daily custom at Spartan L16’s store.
That's it for this edition!
With all these reveals we hope to have put a smile on your F.A.C.E.!
There are a lot more happy-hormone–inducing things we are working on, but they are still under intergalactic embargo… for now. Just wait for the brand-new Roadside Research trailer to drop!
Curious? Stay tuned for news.
Thanks for playing!
Hailing from the Mothership,
The Cybernetic Walrus Team