Hello Pizza Party Lovers,
This is your head of HR with another mysterious video to distribute company-wide. Since there's nothing I can do to stop this madman at this point, I've just accepted that this is my life now. As a result, we've made it official company policy at TACO Corp that if anything bad is happening, you must now just say "This is my life now". Those who do not comply will be deep-fried.
I'm going to go salt a few of my assistants while you delete precious childhood memories and replace them with this two-minute video.