Attention TACO-Corp Drooling Seels:
This is your loving HR department back and well rested after a summer break. Now, we are all ready to hear your complaints over the next 8-straight months of work. I have a new set of earbuds for every single one of you!
Speaking of complaints, our box was very, very full when we cracked open the office again. Did we make the mistake of asking people for feedback and my Forget-Me-Now cocktails obliterated my short-term memory? I should’ve tipped that bar tender more than just one middle-finger.
Look, my hangover meds are still about 3 hours away by horseback, so I’m going to just gather all of your little feedback into this one spot where I’ll comb your hair until you fall asleep. Then, the HR Department will determine which method of separating you from your life is both legal and prudent. Your families will be compensated.
Q: Hey, could we get a damn tutorial here!? I don’t know how to do anything!
A: Fine – yes! You’ll get a big thing plastered all over the screen, complete with an unskippable 30-minute training section!* (*slightly more sober version of me here – let’s meet in the middle and say yes, we’ll have tutorial messages.)
Q: I’m lost. Where do you get off making me feel lost!?
A: We in the HR Department are legally required to say we do not, in fact, “get off” on anything. Literally nothing. My crotch is a black hole.
To the feelings of being lost, there are no plans at this time to implement a traditional objective arrow. Something we will consider adding is an optional “light touch” aspect to players that need more direction. The point of keeping Taco Terror’s levels concise is to allow you to feel lost initially but never feel hopelessly lost. So, really, you’re welcome…
Q: Alright – you sort of gave in to that last one, so what about a mini map!?
A: Not a chance. The environment is littered with clues to help the directionless, or so it was intended. Therefore, we’ll beef that up, especially in the multi-floor levels.
Q: What the hell is wrong with the main character’s voice in the first level?
A: Well, there’s something that you have to understand about your HR Department – we are very under paid. Aren’t paid at all, actually. Yes, we work for the love of it, and while that fills our hearts with all the existential fuel we need to wake up every day, the practical issues of being in a loveless relationship with money are impossible to avoid.
You’ll notice the audio quality in general kicks up a notch after the first boss fight – I wish I could think of a way to make that an in-universe thing. Alas, instead, we have already re-recorded those old lines with new hardware and everything will be edited together and patched in eventually.
Q: Yeah, but man – even your SFX suck! Like, all of them! This isn’t balanced here, that isn’t balanced there – it’s a mess!
A: Yep, and it’s a mess we are going to fix. The SFX in general are charming little guys with adjustments available for anyone to make in game, or from the main menu. The light touch needed in the audio mix, however, is certainly heavier than we want for the final product.
That just means you better listen to them and only them in the final product! No podcasts in the other window, Kenny!
Q: I don’t speak Spanish – what am I supposed to do with these Spanish words, phrases, and ingredients that you keep throwing at me?
A: The subtitles will be completely in English (or any other language we add in at a later date), so I’d recommend giving those a click into the “On” position. There are some missing subtitles at this time but they will all be there in the final product. As for the ingredients, well, shoot the ones attacking you, then make the delicious ones into food.
Q: Your fonts are poo-poo on buttons and stuff! I can’t read anything!
A: That’s fair! We’ll take that into consideration and try to find the middle ground between the style we’re going for and readability.
Q: Look, buddies, you’ve got yourself something funny and cool here, but I don’t know what I’m doing half the time. There’s a general lack of direction on Upgrades, on the weird oven thing in the Hideout, on where I’m going, on what the UI is doing. You’ve gotta help the player out a little bit here!
A: Your HR Department acknowledges that – basically all of that. We just got a new shipment of signs, arrows, nameplates, a sexy label maker, and all the spackle we could find. That layer of shine is coming to Taco Terror’s final iteration.
Your HR Department has given you the weekly recommended amount of corporate attention. If you see me in the smoke room, don’t enter. I need to be smoked evenly across my crunchy shell.
Please keep your eyes open for another update as well as an accompanying video to stir the motivation from the depths of your souls.
- Brumhilda, Head of Taco Corp HR
Voted Most Likely Company to Taste Delicious with Mayo 20015-19
Voted Least Likely to go Rotten Over Long Weekend 2020
Voted Most Rotten for Life