For thousands of years, our forebears have celebrated the time-honored tradition we call Cyber Monday. On this day, with each passing solar circumvolution, we take time to ponder the material plane and its deep meaning to our people and indeed, to the universe itself.
*cue dignified music*
Today, we are proud to offer you, our devoted and steadfast knights,
(EDIT: What Eurydice is trying to say is that you should keep your eye on the Supply Depot, where we have flash sales rotating all day on Monday, December 1, 2014. -Clotho)
And so, in conclusion, go forth and find for yourselves something to hold onto in this world, an anchor in these trying times
(EDIT: STAHP. IT. -Thalia)
Be well, knights, and have a meaningful, contemplative Cyber Monday.
*end dignified music*