When we try to meditate, what is it that we are trying to change?
Meditation can be an ego-driven practise. There is nothing wrong with this, but it should be realised. We all want to better ourselves, and bettering ourselves, mostly means to be happier. But happiness, to a lot of us, is to avoid pain and suffering. We want to run away from what brings us discomfort, and we want to run towards what brings us comfort.
To distil this further, it's our sensations and feelings that drive us towards action. Our sensations and feelings express themselves as thoughts. So in essence, we experience our existence through thought. For instance, when we feel cold, that feeling is expressed as a thought 'I am cold'. So does that mean that without that thought you are not cold. Maybe, but without the mind, there is no concept of cold. You can sleep through worse and not realise it.
Fear/suffering is like a monster that only exists when you look away from it. The more you try to push away at its force, the stronger it gets. The paradox is that it only exists in the force that it expresses and it only has force when you look away from it. In other words, you will feel its strength, but when you look at it, there will be nothing there. When that realisation trickles through, the force dissipates. When you look at suffering, without trying to get rid of it, you see suffering for what it actually is.
When people say, love yourself, this is probably what it means. To allow yourself to be open to all aspects of yourself. When you are open, you are meditating.
Whenever we want 'do' something, we are trying to change something. Next time you can't meditate, allow that moment to be there. Next time you are frustrated with something, allow it to be there. Allowing itself can end up being an action, and if it does, then allow that to be there as well.