Greetings, Comrades! First, before telling you our boring news, we would like to say Happy New Year to everyone! The past year turned out to be (*further there’s a standard list of positive and negative things that happened during the year, which you can always listen to in the speech of the head of your country.) Taking such a busy year into consideration, we would like to wish you (*one more standard paragraph with positive wishes of universal values*). Hurrah!
As you may have noticed, we’ve hired an editor to make our texts more diverse. Most likely, you’ve also noticed that after the very first paragraph, where he cut out all our congratulations without even blinking an eye and saved this news as the source file, we wrapped him with electrical tape, rolled him under the dusty sofa, and threw the lead programmer's worn sock there. Yes, it’s cruel. But deleting the words about piety, morality, and positive thinking, and replacing them with generalized text in asterisks is even crueler. All right, enough of that... Before we start traditionally praising ourselves in the news, we would like to share a short video that we managed to intercept from the lead developers, replacing it with a videotape with the Cheerful Pickle. While the developers have been enthusiastically watching this simple cartoon about the green pimply protagonist for four days in a row, we can take a glimpse at what they were hiding from us.
https://youtu.be/UNKvVi-w1To
Well, um… We should have watched an episode of the Cheerful Pickle instead. Although, this video can be linked to the first piece of news very well. This piece of news will be mysterious and blurred, like a blob of weird stuff on the windshield after parking under some trees. You’ve probably guessed that this is the release date. See? There it is, trickling down... So fluid, so blurred... In fact, the release date for the project will be approved a little later, and we’ll definitely notify you about the date in our next piece of news. This is because we need to coordinate the release with all the platforms, media (haha, what media?), and the releases of other large projects that we can interfere with, as we would have interfered with Cyberpunk. But despite this, we can definitely say that the planned date will be closer to the end of the first quarter (end of February or even March, who knows).
The second piece of news we want to tell you about is the final price increase for the game. Yes. This was expected. We promised such a maneuver in the early days of the project, which in those days was cheaper than a plastic cooker. Many of you even complained that the Breathedge was too cheap (all right, not many of you did that, we’ve come up with this to make some excuse). In any case, the price will be increased by about $2 billion. Well, or a little less... We don’t know how Comrade Steam will convert this figure to other currencies, but, most likely, it will be good and honest. The price increase is expected in the very near future, and it may even have already happened. However, what does it matter if there are a lot of discounts now, so you can still buy the game cheaper than a plastic cooker? Nice math, huh?
The third piece of news will be of interest to those who cannot read our news. Yeah, we're talking about new localizations. Breathedge will have additional localization of the subtitles and all game assets (textures, inscriptions, interfaces, and other stuff) into these languages at its release:
- Spanish
- Portuguese (Brazilian)
- Polish
- Turkish
- Korean
- Japanese
Breathedge is the only project where you can find a pack of dumplings translated into 11 languages! (although we have not tested this).
The fourth piece of news… Or is it the ninety-ninth piece? We don’t remember and we won’t bother to count again. Let’s just round it up to one hundred. So, the one-hundredth piece of news will be short, and it’ll be about consoles.
As a matter of fact, we’d like to tell you in detail about the porting process, show you some unique screenshots (which we don’t have), and the niceties of the console versions of the game, in the next piece of news about the exact release date, otherwise, we wouldn’t know what to write about in it. The order of the releases should be also known — maybe the game will be released on all consoles at once, maybe some of them will be the first. In any case, Breathedge has been ported successfully and is now trying to break through negotiations and checking. Let’s wish it luck (or let’s not, if you hate the project).
With the one hundred-first piece of news, we’d like to remind you about what we’re all waiting for. We’re waiting for the release of Breathedge that will consist of three new chapters, one of which is long, the second of which is short, and the third is who knows what it is. As we’ve said before, the new chapters will tell you the final parts of the story about Man, the Green Universe, сoffinbots, and space junk. In the new chapters, traditionally, you can collect a whole sea of junk, break something, blow something up, listen to the annoying monologues of the spacesuit, and realize the uselessness of this pastime. Untraditionally, you will be able to fly on Normandy and shoot some flying objects with its weapons. What for? It’s a strange question — it’s quite obvious that we have no idea.
If you successfully completed the first three chapters of Breathedge, the new chapters will seem to you to be more about the story, to be more high-level, and to have less craft. It’s the real finale of the game which will be mostly focused on the story, and less on Man’s flying back and forth between the airlock and space debris.
By the way, those who managed to complete the first three chapters will be shocked by the fact that Man’s oxygen level has been increased. It seems he was sick with the coronavirus from the start of the game, but now his right lung has expanded and now he can hold his breath 25 seconds longer!!! (!!!!!!1№»»;%*()*?:%; and some more emphatic symbols). New players will be able to complete the game with less frustration and will hate us less, and veterans of the game can put an imaginary medal “Real Hardcore Gamer” on their chests because you guys won’t see the difficult Breathedge you used to play anymore.
And one more small piece of news: Breathedge Constructor ceases to exist and will soon disappear. Surely most of you have no idea what it is and why you need it. In fact, we no longer remember what it is and why it is, so we’ll just press delete. Well, in fact, this constructor has long lost its relevance and has no game value, and therefore there’s no need for it to clutter your Steam account.
So it goes. And don’t forget, if you have any questions, and especially if you have problems with the game (it doesn’t start, crashes, doesn’t work on your grandma's abacus), feel free to email us or send us a message via Discord. Or ask Santa to deliver your message to us. However, you surely understand, it would take a long time for the letter to reach us. A very long time. A very very long time. An incredibly long long time. It will be as long as reading this paragraph about how long it will take.
Our Discord:
https://discord.gg/uezQcU7
Our email:
[email protected]
