Dear gamer comrades!
A very difficult and important month is up ahead for us, namely April, and we are beginning to get more and more questions about further updates, news, new videos, interviews, and so on. Apart from friendly and cordial questions, we also receive an infinite number of aggressive, toxic, and even inhuman threats. They promise to pluck out our feathers, add glass to our grain, fry us, write negative comments on Steam, play the game over two more times, kill the Man on purpose, and so on and so forth. Just look at one of the reviews we received recently:
Unbelievable. The lead developer cried for a week and even wanted to commit seppuku, however, he didn’t know how to do it properly.
Due to serious moral suffering and mental health treatment, using powerful antidepressants mixed with horse tranquilizers and alcohol, we’re not even sure now whether the update will come in April or May, so the update may even be in September. But maybe we can still make it by May...
In any case, there will be some big piece of news about the development in May. We will tell you about the details of the second and third chapters, and also announce the exact date of the update. Happy April Fool’s Day! So it goes.
It’s time for some butthurt:
You won’t get your dessert (yet).
So please stay alert
And don’t rip off your shirt.
The new chapter update’s nigh
But everything goes awry.
“The deadline must die!”
The developers cry.
“Let’s move it to July!”
So sing the song of slackers
And raise our flag with pride,
And chew on cheese and crackers,
We’re moving the deadline!
Developers around the world,
Come join us,
Get your sails furled!
Let’s move our deadlines to an unknown date!
We’ve done it — it feels great!