- Hey, Mike. Wake up Mike. Mike! MIKE WAKE UP FOR F*CK SAKE!
- Ralph? W-W-W-What's going on? It's like 2 in the morning! And how did you get in my house? Ugh, forget it. I gotta sleep, got a lot of things to do tomorrow!
- OH PLEASE! I know Saturday is laundry day for you... You'll also grab a few expired food at the grocery store - yes, I know you buy expired food because you're POOR - and send a pathetic text message to your pathetic ex-girlfriend, just to tell her how miserable your life is now, but she'll probably ignore it because she's too busy GETTIN' LAI--
- OK, OK, I GET IT. You don't need to be so rude... So what do you want ?
- What do I want? What do I want? I want to show you this beauty. It's a time travelling machine called Post Human W.A.R Patch Note 16!
- ... Post Human what? I'm sure I'm gonna regret it but... What is it?
- Okay, listen up Mike. This is no ordinary time travelling machine. With this one, you can now record every game you played in Post Human W.A.R - training mode, local versus, online, or whatever.
- Yeah, okay. Time travelling machine. Cool. Can you leave now?
- That's not all, you dumb*ss. With this machine, you can also watch your previous games, and skip the waiting time of all actions. You can even skip directly to the turn you wish to watch, if you have something particular in mind!
- That's... yeah that's great Ralph, really. Okay, well, thanks for showin--
- NOT. DONE. YET.
- Jeez...
- Let's say you have a friend. Yeah I know, pretty unrealistic because except me, you have no friend.
- Right now, you're more like a bed intruder than a friend to me.
- LET ME FINISH. So, this hypothetical friend do not believe you when you say you have accomplished a wonderful action. Well, now, you can export your game and share it to your him. Or even the world. Or EVEN THE UNIVERSE. Can you believe it? The U.N.I.V.E.R.S.E.
- I don't think the universe cares about it, but ok, that's good to know. Anything else?
- OF COURSE THERE IS. Just to let you know, now when your unit stands on a healing zone, it will restore 10hp. BUT If your totem is destroyed, you'll lose 15hp every turn. So there's no hiding forever!
- ...
- ONE LAST THING: the AI now make a better use of AOE damages. You have been warned!
- Hmm okay, but I have a question... What do these last features have anything to do with your time travelling thingy?
- THAT'S THE POINT. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. THIS IS WHY I'M A GENIUS, THE KIND OF GUY WHO CAN MIX THINGS TO MAKE THEM BETTER!!!
- I... Okay that's it, get outta my house.
- I Will, but promise me that you'll try the Time Travelling Machine. It's cool, and it can turn your pitiful life into... well... something less pitiful I guess.
- Yeah okay, I will definitely play Post Human W.A.R and try these features, so now GET OUT!