Ladies and gentlemen.
I have been asked to write this announcement. I agreed on one condition: that my objection be recorded in writing.
Someone has decided that this is finished. I have not. That something is finished and that it must therefore be released to the public are two different matters, and they have been confused.
Alonitaire will be released in September 2026.
There. I have said it. Shall we all get on with our lives?
Ignore the enthusiasm of whoever finished it and look at what is actually here: cards. Red on black, black on red. Riveting.
Well. Almost. There is one card awake at the back, whispering to anyone who cares to play. "Find me later," she says. Very mysterious. Very unhelpful.
And now let us talk about you, who have read this far.
She is going to ask you to cheat. She will ask very sweetly. And I shall notice —I always notice; noticing is the only thing I do— and then there will be consequences, and "consequences" is the kindest word I have to hand.
Do you find that amusing? Neither do I.
There are games with dragons out there. Games with knights. Games where the cards stay where you put them and do not look back at you. Any one of them will make you happier than a solitaire game whose deck has opinions.
As for the demo: yes, it is free; yes, the link is below; and yes, it was my idea. I conceived it as a deterrent. Apparently it did not deter. I shall not be discussing it further.
One last thing, and it is important. On Alonitaire's Steam page there is a button. I do not intend to say which one. There is no need to say it. Everybody knows which one.
Very well. It says "Add to your wishlist". Steam will write to you on the exact day Alonitaire is released. Do not press it. I ask you as a professional. I wrote the rules of this game —every one of them, one by one, and they are excellent rules, thank you— but I did not write that button. It is the sort of detail one regrets not having anticipated.
Play the demo (against my advice) · Add Alonitaire to your wishlist (very much against my advice)
Anyway.
September. I shall be here. As always. As I have been every day since—
As always.
— The Joker