Final Fantasy XIV's latest update has landed, and the 6.05 patch notes introduce a selection of job changes alongside new content like the Savage Pandaemonium raid. But there are a few, erm, unadvertised additions in 6.05, too, including pants that make your butt more shapely and a pole. Like, you know, the kind of pole you dance on.
The patch notes do say that "new prizes are available for purchase using MGP", but it's actually just one item: the dance pole, a furnishing item. As the description notes, "even seasoned adventurers may find that sensually swivelling upon this pole proves a challenge to their balance and brawn alike". Sadly, it seems you can't actually interact with the pole, but I guess you can always do a /beesknees near it.
Then there are the hose of happiness, a new craftable set of pants that add a bit of volume to your character's butt. There are a number of clothing items in FFXIV that make subtle adjustments to your character model, but it's especially pronounced here - the effect is basically the same as the 2B leggings, just without requiring you to run around in a thong. And, fabulously, it appears the butt buff applies to male characters, too.
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