*click*
It's us again, the clean-up crew... ah, screw it, just "the cleaners". You call us that behind our backs anyway. We're used to it ;)
Anyway, while the tech guys are buried in their reports (and, as usual, sending us nothing useful), things are buzzing over here. We're up to filters in work. Literally buried in it, and that's not a figure of speech. To give you an idea, here's a snapshot from the planning center. Imagine each task is a box. And there are many... SO MANY!
But let's get to the point before I drift off again like toxic waste after firing up the "Blow-tastic 3000".
Speaking of which, what's up with the tools?
We're pros here, so naturally our gear is pro-grade. Monster disposal is layer-by-layer, a carcass isn't just a "hunk of meat" and shouldn't feel like tofu. It's a proper engineering project! First we strip the hide, that's where harpoons and saws come in to peel off that armored scales and reveal all the soft goodness inside.
Then we carve the meat, drain excess fluids. After that we get down to the skeleton. And the kind of skeletons we deal with... you definitely can't hide those in a closet! The manual says to process the bodies gradually, but nobody's stopping you from carving a hole, climbing inside the monster, and dismantling it from within. Wanna get covered in... stuff... your call. Just get the job done right! We've always got the high-pressure washer anyway, so blood and guts - no big deal.
Oh, right! Our scientists are cooking up a new gadget: gravity boots! Supposed to make working on huge monsters easier. Sounds awesome, sure, but they've still got a ton of testing to do before official rollout.
What do you think about grav-boots?
I can also share some footage from recent incidents. The places we end up...
The locations are almost ready for operations. The newbies are especially pumped about the seaside monsters, saying "no anime is complete without a beach episode." Classic, I talk work, they talk fun. Rookies, what can you do?
In other good news: we've upgraded our car. She's looking... let's call it "more experienced." About time we gave her a name. Any ideas? 
Thanks for sticking with us and following the training of future kaiju aftermath disposal specialists! I bet you've got a ton of questions: "What does it smell like inside?", "Can you squish a parasite with gravity boots?", "Can you play soccer with a monster eyeball?"...
Ask away, don't be shy. We'll set up an AMA-style thing, I'm sure the PR folks will be thrilled. For now, that's it, signing off the report. Bye!
*click*
