Hello and Happy Holidays my Hearty Horde of Heisting Hooligans,
We’ve been busy elves this wintry season, and today we released a new update for you all loaded with goodies and fixes.
First up, we have a new heist! Yes, given the season, we present to you, the ultimate -- the quintessential– holiday location: that pure pinnacle of jolly festivities… the… Storage Unit... place.
Soooo Festive.
Yes, Storage Unit facilities, like the holidays, are places filled with memories you just can’t seem to let go of. And, just like winters of my youth, it, too, is cold and filled with giant mutant hamsters that will bowl you over like you’re that dusty long forgotten bowling pin in Unit 37. Good times. Seriously though, these hamsters are horrifically scared of everything and just want to get away. Don’t be in their way when they run.
Also, would it really be a holiday if you couldn’t kick back and relax? Well, NOW.YOU.CAN. And not only that, but you can sit ANYWHERE you like so long as it’s in one of four specific spots in the HQ map and you have unlocked via the Sofa upgrade. You ask, my friends; we deliver.
Player’s Five and Six ain’t good enough for a seat, the filthy lunch bags.
That’s not all though. We have new masks, new cosmetics (pants/shirts/shoes/etc.) and new upgrades in the HQ, including Van capacity upgrades and a fancy new Holiday themed layout!
You can hit your friends on the head with Mr. Snowman. Ho. Ho. Ho. Other new stuff? Well, now you should be seeing more item information related to both hands, making dual-fisted-looting way more informative. We’ve also got an assortment of new masks to enjoy.
Yes, you can be disguised as a… coffee maker? What could be more festive than that? I’ll tell you: GORE. Now, when you get assaulted by your co-conspirators and/or furniture, you’ll leave chunks of evidence (i.e. you) behind.. for a few seconds at least until the particles finish playing. Quite festive indeed.
We also have no shortage of new fixes, everything from tuned up lighting in the HQ to collision fixes, nav-mesh agent improvements, objective logic improvements, UI improvements, subway level optimizations, and weight and tag balancing. And you can now -actually- unlock that Jack-o-lantern mask we thought we released last update (sorry about that!).
Oh, and last but not least, we’ve got keybinding options v.1 into the game. Now you can set the controls to the keybinding options your heart has always dreamed of. We'll be adding more options --and more everything of course -- as we go into 2026. Happy Holidays!
That's it for us for 2025. Feel free to leave us feedback
(feedback.terribleposture.com)
or join our community discord
. On behalf of Terrible Posture Games, we hope you all have a wonderful and warm holiday season. Here’s a cozy, seasonal image to round out 2025 and help send us off into the new year!
May your Season Greetings be merry, warm, and visceral!
See you in 2026!
-Co-director Joe