Hey Paddleheads!
Let the glorious suffering begin.
It’s here. It’s real. It’s too late to turn back now. Paddle Paddle Paddle has officially launched!
Grab your paddles (and maybe a stress ball), and fling yourself into a physics-powered gauntlet of rage, laughter, and poor life decisions. Whether you're going solo or handing a paddle to your most trusted frenemy — the pain is now public.
Want to suffer in style?
Check out the Jet Set Paddlers bundle!
It includes the base game plus the fabulously over-the-top Paddle Royale DLC, featuring a jet ski, a crown, and a paddle iced-out with fake diamonds and real regret.
Because if you’re going to fail 47 jumps in a row, you might as well look amazing doing it.
Thank you all for the support, the wishlists, the memes, and the patience. We can't wait to see your speedruns, your co-op meltdowns, and your creative use of profanity.
Now paddle forth, brave souls — and may the salt be ever in your favor.
💙 – Mateo & the Assemble Entertainment Crew
Also check-out these fantastic bundles with our friends for more rage and salt: