The Green Saturday
Welcome everyone!
I believe weekends are the perfect time to explore lighter topics, things a little less tied to gameplay, at least directly.
That's the reason why I've chosen saturday to tell you about the background story of the game!
If this, and all the future, "x.5" blogs don't interest you, I fully understand, but the "lore" of a videogame is essential to me, hence why I've chosen to dedicate the saturday to this "events".
If you are only interested in the mechanics and the enemies of the game, come back every wednesday, because I'll write something about them.
If you are still here, let’s talk about some goblin lore!
Inspiration
When creating their lore and culture, I drew some loose inspiration from the steppe civilizations of Asia, particularly the Mongol Empire, mixing that with classic fantasy tropes about goblins: greedness, cowardly warriors, and grubby citizens.
I wondered: How would intense greed shape a nomadic society that suddenly expanded and centralized?
Starting with a more serious idea, I ended up turning it into something a bit more bizarre.
Let’s begin!
Map: Supreme Domain of Goblikhania
The Stinky Steppe and The Rise of Gobligis
Goblins inhabit the lands of the Stinky Steppe.
Until just a few centuries ago, they lived scattered across caves and crevices around the Birthplace Heights and nearby mountain ranges, divided into countless small clans constantly fighting over pits or holes to claim as home (what a taste!).
Everything changed with the rise of Gobligis Goblakhang, once Chieftain of the Patumi Tribe near the Trash River.
Through sheer ambition (and maybe a bit of luck), he seized the rival clans' caves and set out to become the most powerful goblin in history, and he, unexpectedly succeeded.
He expanded goblin territory all the way to the Teteaine and Queuet rivers, and then founded a pseudo feudal society, abandoning the traditional tribal customs.
Thus, the Supreme Domain of Goblikhania was born.
A Nobility of Tongues
Unlike traditional feudal systems, goblins don’t pass down their blue blood through family ties.
Instead, goblin nobles are chosen either for their prowess in battle or, more often, by rising up through the ranks of the social caste of the Bootlickers.
Yes, Bootlickers! That’s an actual social class in goblin society.
It’s said this caste was born during Gobligis’s rise to power: goblins who praised him loudly were rewarded with land and gold.
The tradition stuck.
Bootlickers follow nobles obsessively, often annoying them.
Nobles are free to punish them as harshly as they like.
A bootlicker who complains about punishment gets branded with a tongue symbol and sent to the gold mines of the East as a slave.
Cities like Orotsk, Aurelitau, and Goldqul are mostly inhabited by these unfortunate workers. The extracted gold is then shipped to Richgoz and Noblethara, where it’s smelted into ingots for the capital, Goblikorum.
The more suffering a bootlicker endures without complaint, the greater their chance of being elevated to nobility.
It’s the only way to be released from their oath of servitude.
Technically, goblins could also gain status through valor and bravery in war, but let’s be honest: most are far too cowardly for that route.
Once they become nobles, they select new bootlickers, often from those who once served their own former master.
Horses? NEVER!
Another odd goblin trait: they refuse to ride mounts.
Some say they’re embarrassed that horses are taller than them, so they simply won’t even look at them, out of spite!
Instead, they sprint across the Stinky Steppe on foot.
It's said that they sweat so much while running that it's the very reason the steppes got their name.
Nobody sweats better than them!
After centuries spent in the dim shadows of caves and big holes, sunlight affects their bodies very badly, so they usually sleep by day and travel by night.
They’re excellent runners, but they need a very long rest afterwards.
Because of this, after invading the Kingdom of Gnomia they were very tired and, in game, they move only by one tile per turn in the Tower.
The Exhausting Marches
When marching, goblin commoners, which are mostly bootlickers, form chains to carry nobles on their backs.
Ironically, nobles get exhausted trying to maintain order, as every bootlicker tries desperately to gain their attention.
After a night march, both nobles and bootlickers are completely drained, and they rush to find caves or crevices to sleep in before daylight.
If they get caught in the sun, their skin reacts badly to its hot rays and, worse, they can’t sleep, meaning they’ll have to march the next night without recovering their energy.
This rarely happens, but when it does it is said that some goblins even cry from the stress.
The Golden Pyramids (surrounded by stink)
The goblins are incredibly proud of the Golden Pyramids of Globakhorum, the grandest achievement of Gobligis Goblakhang.
When he conquered the city from his rivals, he demanded golden architecture to make himself immortal in the eyes of his people (inspired by ancient human rulers).
A whole district in the capital is now filled with golden pyramids where the nobility live for free.
Every noble has a residence in one, and they show it off in battle by wearing golden pyramid-shaped helmets.
Also, goblins only use swords, never spears, which are seen as weapons of low status, used only by slaves, rabble and bootlickers of course!
A Golden Obsession
A peculiar event among the upper class is the Gold Feud:
Goblins argue over who is more noble based on the gold weight of their armor and weapons. They hold weighing contests, though in the end, for the nobles there is little to gain.
All that changes is how many goblins choose to serve one noble over another.
This idea also inspired the design of the goblins you encounter in the Tower.
Some, infact, wear their beloved helmets with golden symbols to make clear for everyone that they are nobles.
Also, see their armor? Most of them are very heavy!
What About The Other Places?
You may have noticed other places on the map too, like The Useless Forest, which goblins avoid because it makes them slow and tired, or The Woods Wood, the only place they harvest lumber.
But those are just extra details, I don’t want to spoil everything about this weird little world.
So for now, I’ll leave it to your imagination to guess what’s hiding in the Yetei's Wastes, the Forbidden Pines, or the Fishmen Murkyocracy...
That’s all for today, thanks to everyone who stuck through this long and stinky goblin journey!
Next week, we’ll turn our attention to the protagonists of the game: the Gnomes!
So if you’re curious, don’t forget to check out the game’s Steam page!
Have a very nice weekend,
and may many Bootlickers serve you, or... maybe not!
-Giuseppe