Jessica Lee: No! He really said that?!
Sophia: It is true! The eulogy was actually pretty funny, at times!
Stage Manager: And we’re live in five… four… three…
JL: Good evening, Baltimore! Tonight we continue our weekly interviews with the cast of the upcoming game Mythos. Our guest today is Miss Sophia… erm…
S: Just Sophia is fine. Thank you for having me, Jessica Lee. I hope your time with me will be found more enjoyable than when Tara Norwood was here.
JL: (Strained laughter) Oh… she was a handful! But let’s talk about you, Sophia! What role do you play in Mythos?
S: Well, to hear others describe it, I am to be “the brainy one.” In short, I am present to provide crucial knowledge to others when such a time becomes pertinent. But really, I am just a normal person that works at an electronics store.
JL: CyberDaze, right? Oh, yes, it says so on your shirt.
S: That is correct! I decided to come in my work uniform, as that is how you will be seeing me in the game during my introductory scene.
JL: I see! Now some of the other promotional art we’ve seen of you shows you with what appear to be glowing green eyes. Is there a story behind that?
S: (Lightly laughing) They did look as if they were glowing, did they not? No, no, my eyes do not glow. It was some issues with lighting and perhaps my contact lenses. That has been corrected, as you can see!
JL: We definitely can! Still lovely, of course… just not so glowy. So what is your relationship to the main character?
S: Well, initially I am simply an acquaintance, of sorts. The main character comes to CyberDaze often, being as they are… I suppose one could call them a “nerd.”
Tara Norwood: (Off-camera) A big ol’ nerd!!!
JL: Why is she still here? Could someone please…
(There are sounds of security escorting Tara out of the studio)
S: Right. Being as such, the main character found themselves in my presence often – they always seem to stop by when I am working for some reason.
JL: So you two never met outside of your work? No dates or anything.
S: Ah… dates? Why, no. I do not think… well, rather… I did not assume… No. No, at the point of my first appearance, we have never had the pleasure of each other’s company outside of the store.
JL: (Grinning at Sophia’s reaction) I see, I see. But it seems rather clear that you’re one of the main cast members in Mythos, so surely you can’t just stay at work the entire time, right?
S: Well, of course I am not permitted to speak too much on the events, but I can assure you that I will be seen wearing something other than these clothes.
JL: Naturally. So it would make sense that you are going to be assisting in the investigation of Lisa Norwood’s death, right?
S: Oh, I am not so much an investigator, no. I simply provide information relevant to the mystery as I find it.
JL: Finding information sounds kinda like you’re an investigator.
S: (Sternly) No. I am not to be involved in these affairs.
JL: Did… your eyes just do that glowing thing again?
S: (Laughing) Oh, Jessica Lee, you are so humorous at times! I was simply stating that I have a different role in the story than you may be thinking.
JL: Ahem, yes. So do you have any relationships to the other characters? Did you know Lisa before her death?
S: I actually was never personally acquainted with Lisa Harrison, no. But I did learn much about her! I wish I had seen some of her dancing performances while she was alive. Tara Norwood was occasionally with the main character to visit CyberDaze, but other than that I do not have any particular connection to any of the other characters.
JL: Is that so? I see here that you and B-
S: No connections. At all.
JL: I swear I just saw your eyes-
S: (Laughing again) But of course I will meet others as the story progresses. No woman is an island, as they say.
JL: These interviews just get more peculiar, don’t they?
S: We are just having a conversation.
JL: Right. Um, so… the name of the game is Mythos, and the synopsis states that the main character finds themselves mired in the world of the supernatural. What role do you play in all of that?
S: Well, of course there’s that supernatural element. Most of the information I supply is of the mundane variety, but there may be a few instances where I am called upon to provide more esoteric knowledge.
JL: Indeed. And being as this is also an adult game, are you going to be one of the potential love interests, as well?
S: (Looking down) Well… that is for the individual players to decide, of course. If they believe me to be appealing in such a manner.
JL: We’re running out of time for this interview – is there any last words you’d like to say to the audience, Sophia?
S: Yes! When you mee-
B: I’M UP NEXT, BITCHES!!!
JL: Oh, what the hell…
S: (Visibly furious) What is that doing here? I did not agree to appear with B!
B: C’mon, “Sophia”. You know you love me!
S: I most certainly do not. Do not come near me!
B: Just a lil’ hug, c’mere!!!
JL: (Shouting over the chaos) Securi—
(The screen cuts to a picture of a Maryland Blue Crab holding up a sign that states “WETT is having technical difficulties!”, before cutting to a commercial of a group of ladies talking about their bowel movements while eating yoghurt.)