Greetings, our most valuable customer, %Insert_Name%!
Bogged down by your soul-crushingly boring 9-to-5? Family and kids are too much responsibility? Want to fly away from earthly troubles and worries?
Experience the thrill of space travel by joining one of our delivery crews, and explore the cosmic horizons! Find your true calling, learn new skills, and become one of the hard-working Ponies!
This time, you’ll be lucky enough to board the %TULPAR%. The most reliable (over %90% cycles in!) and safest ship (no more than %Undefined_Value% reported incidents!) with an already fully complete crew:
- Curly – a masterful captain,
- Jimmy – a trustworthy co-pilot,
- Swansea – an experienced mechanic,
- Anya – a top-tier nurse,
- Daisuke – a helpful intern.
What are you waiting for? Become a space courier now to connect people's hearts by delivering packages across planets – only with Pony Express.
Provided by Pony Express.
Mouthwashing is finally reaching even the farthest corners of the Galaxy!
A new explosive flavor that you have never tasted before! An exciting and refreshing nightmare voyage through the stars. What will happen to you and your crewmates? Surely, this haul will be the one to remember!
Want to know more? Head out to the Critical Reflex Discord server to meet fellow fresh-breath-loving people, share your thoughts and takes (mind the spoilers!), and hear from the Mouthwashing manufacturer, Wrong Organ (trade secrets not included).
We will continue to share more about the production process in future posts, host a QnA, and, of course, support the game going forward. See you in the next one!
This product is provided, sponsored, and endorsed by:
Wrong Organ, Critical Reflex, and the Dragonbreath Brand.
