Dear Santa,
I'm writing you this letter because the situation is serious: Krampus wants to kill Christmas!
Will you be up to the challenge of facing all the anti-Christmas forces and saving the end-of-year festivities?
Lady Gaga and Serena hate Christmas, and they will try to block your way.
Johnny Depp, Kanye West, and Snoop Dogg, among others, will help you train.
Also be careful of the Krampus elves, they hurt a lot.
Signed:
A child who wants CK in its Christmas tree