September 2, 2026

[NEW] Co-op vs AI

Added as a new "Type" for Offline Versus

Also added as a type in an Online lobby. It requires having exactly one person on each team (has an error if attempting to start without this). When starting, both players will be on the Red team against two CPU on Blue team [Note: need to test if there are desyncs!!]

Online Training with 2 Players

During character select, 2P now shows up on red team as 3P (instead of being on the blue team)

During character select, 1P now selects blue team's character (instead of always being AZ)

CPU Enemies

Presses the forward direction more often

Remove the RNG usage for movement (so it can be used determinstically in online matches)

Combo Trials

AZ = swap combo trial #8 and 9

Messages

For Versus mode (not Combo Trials), move the text upwards if the text expands across multiple lines (as there is no UI for combo trial notations)

Deleting 3 messages: - *sighhhhhhhhhs* - "Hardest thing in my freaking life." - Execuuuution.

62 new messages for Trials and round start (610 total):

This game took 10 years to make, and I will fire the whole dev team (aka myself) if it doesn't generate $10,000,000 per week after 8 months.

Marvel at this DRM with 45 FPS, one-sided rollback, 3rd party login, and unskippable intro splash screens.

2016: 8f input delay. 2026: 8f one-sided rollback.

Lord Pyre almost cried when he saw the state of Gemion Function.

I did it because I liked it. Hell, I loved it. I'm just itching to do it again.

Foot-foot dive.

Keep the rhythm up. If you eff up the rhythm, the mf'ing combo will drop.

It drops after 59 hits. That shit's crazy. Fiddy-fo', fiddy-five.

When you get them in the corner, you wanna hit them diagonal. Now, hit up. Now, go diagonal. Now, hit up.

Light punch, medium punch, light kick, heavy punch.

Strong enough to gemion. Too weak to function.

The children yearn for the gems.

At the crime scene lol. Good tweet, good tweet.

Aim for the bushes.

If I were a lion and you were a tuna, I would swim out into the middle of the ocean and eat you, and then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend.

Thanks for the F-shack. Love, Dirty Spiros and the bois.

You wouldn't download a gem.

It's a bold strategy, cotton.

Would you rather have $1 or $2?

What a horrible night to have a function.

What is a man? A miserable little pile of functions!

It is a feat of human engineering that BARRY-350 actually lets you think you are good.

All roads lead to me.

When things get hard, I get harder.

GG Sh1tt3rs.

A little bit of theft when they drop their game winning combo you feel me. Maybe they needed the money but I need to buy stupid shit constantly.

Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?

What are you doing in my swamp?

Did we just become best friends?

If you ain't first, you're last.

It was between that or Muhammed.

My wiiiiife.

Modern gemions require modern functions.

I don't read the script. The script reads me.

I'm the dude playing the dude disguised as another dude!

Mf'er, that's called a job!

The suck c*ck fallacy.

Anyone can cook!

Lisan al-Gemion!

Top player coming through.

Pills are good.

I didn't hear no bell.

Booyakasha!

Do it for her.

Press F to Pay Respects.

The cake is a lie.

You must construct additional Gemions.

Do a barrel roll!

Thank you! But our gemion is in another function.

Stay a while and listen.

War never changes.

Praise the sun.

Aw shet, here we go again...

Fus ro dah.

All your base are belong to us.

Objection!

I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took a gemion in the function.

You shall not pass.

Keep the change, ya filthy gemion.

I am your father.

Yeah, science!

We need to cook.