Critter Cove Dev Log #3

Hey there, you bunch of slackers! Hah! Bet you were expecting Anchor to waltz back today and tuck you in with some 'everything's gonna be fine'? Well, tough break! Turns out, my last update didn't exactly tickle his fancy, not that I'm surprised. But guess what? I couldn't care less. Park yourselves and lend an ear, because things are about to get even rougher from here on out.

Shops, shops, and more shops...

We used to have a bunch of shops, and you'll need to get them back on their feet - Mayor Renard keeps yapping about how it’ll be worth it, but that guy just wants to start getting some of that sweet tax money in his pocket, I’ll betya. Get that tinhead Copperbottom to do some dirty work as well. I walked around the main square today and let me tell you, it doesn’t exactly scream five-star holiday destination! Still, even I have to admit it could start looking a little better around here with a slave, uhh, helpful citizen to fix things up. Here’s a list of what needs to be done:

• Bait shop: Fresh fish smell worse than you, which is saying something. Fishing gear might help get more food.

  Tavern: Everyone loves a good drink and gossip, plus some occasional brawls to liven up the weekends.

  Salon: Maybe it'll convince you to change your face or something.

  Clinic: For those sensitive wimps who need more than a bandaid for their boo-boos.

  Clothing shop: Change those filthy rags; style doesn't cost anything.

  Café and bakery: Food and drinks, duh. Basic survival stuff.

  Museum: Boring, but apparently crucial for tourism. Fill it up with exhibits or whatever.

  Workshop: That oily mess is all yours. Do your crafting stuff there, far away from me.

  Furniture shop: Get furniture and some crafting recipes to save a buck.

  School: Some less bright folks here need all the help they can get, so fix that school for them.

  Lighthouse: No idea why we need it. I guess to keep those fools from shipwrecking all the time.

Oh, and we already have the post office and Renard's shop up and running, but that place doesn’t exactly sell luxury items most of the time. I swear I saw him selling a broken treadmill in there the other day.

Do people here work?

What happens when there’s no business? Well, nobody really does any work, right? When you finally manage to fix those shops, you'll need someone to run them, and let's face it, this place is as lively as a graveyard right now. So, it's your job to cruise around in your lousy bathtub boat and find some stranded idiots to scam—ahem, I mean, to convince them to join our delightful island! I'm sure they'll be thrilled not to spend their nights sleeping on the sand. Once you've got the shops up and running and a bunch of Critters running around sucking up the oxygen, it's time for the hard part: carefully selecting your workforce. Brace yourself; most of these Critters are good-for-nothings. So, if you want to avoid having your customers served coffee with a side of Critter spit, sour milk soups garnished with dead flies, or leftovers mixed into fresh orders, you'd better think long and hard about those choices. Or don’t, of course. The chaos would at least be pretty entertaining. On the rare occasion that you miraculously find a Critter enjoying their work, well, the customers might actually leave with a smile. And if we play our cards right, Checkmark might grace us with a tiny pat on the back in his loser clipboard. Piece of cake, right?

Alright, that's enough for today. Anchor asked me to tell you to keep an eye out for some important announcement coming soon. I don't know, and I don't care. Now, leave me alone, I need my beauty sleep. - Pokee

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