Hello, overseer!
The Human Survival Committee is unhappy with the number of untrustworthy individuals who are gaining access to the Ark. To combat this, we will be introducing an additional method of screening candidates.
Going forward, only worthy candidates – those of healthy body and spirit – will be allowed on the Ark. To test their fortitude, you will need to hit the candidates with spoons. We are serious, stop laughing.
In order to make sure you are in the best emotional state when choosing successful candidates, we have ordered that all citizens wear unusual accessories during the selection process. You will start to see people wearing helmets, aviator hats, double glasses, t-shirts with prints, and more.
Try not to get distracted from your job, because no one will do it for you. Make any mistakes and you'll be recycled.
Have a lovely day further, you sack of bones.
Sincerely,
State Vigilance Committee