It has been quite a roller coaster ride for me, this whole thing. They have said "Game dev process" is pretty hard before i started it and i knew it, but soon i realized those were just vague words until i actually experience it.
Frequently i am confused between using the word "I" or "We" when i start the sentences, because i have started this journey alone. It surely has pros and cons. But first you have to define yourself, whether you are a lone wolf or you can be a member of the pack. Lone wolves are mostly alone because they are actually left out by the pack. The ones who thrive alone can follow the path i did. The rest, better find yourself teammates to share the burden. Because game development is a very extensive job and there is no way in the hell you can do everything alone. Well maybe you can, but it will probably take 5-6 extra years compared to what you can achieve with reliable teammates.
Who else loves hammock?
In my case it was different, it wasn't all about gaming but Shargad. I have been already worldbuilding Shargad, the fantasy universe this game is based upon, for the last 6-7 years and i have already written and published a 120k words book and written 200k more which haven't been published yet. Idea of a game set upon Shargad was already in the back of my mind, but i always thought it is a distant dream. Especially if you are referring to Triple A games - you know thats the first thing that comes to mind when somebody ever imagines to make a game. If i had a few million dollars budget i wouldn't be doing this anyway, probably i was in Hawaii, swinging in my hammock and writing my 3rd or 4th book.
Unfortunately, life doesn't always give you what you want, and whenever it gives something too easy, it takes something back. I have been doing sales of machinery for the past couple years. Worked in various industries but no, i knew deep down corporate life was not for me. I actually knew it before even i started. But society pulls you to a point where you can do nothing but bow down to it. So i had to chew it hard and work 5 years in a world i didn't belong. On the side though, i kept working on Shargad series. I was searching for an exit plan...
"Nobody reads book these days" was the most common phrase i have heard back then. "Why do you even write it?" I also heard a lot of, there are just too many foreign words in your book, i can't understands too, but i am not getting there. Nobody knows Sumerian these days anyways...
The exit plan
I had some ideas for an exit plan but none that would work. Too much pressure from family, society whatever whatever. You had to come up with something strong, something... that will make money actually. Who would care whether you are happy at what you are doing anyway? So there was no easy way out.
Ironically, i made it too easy. I quitted my job, just like that. Simple and sweet. No one cried for me, except for my manager who probably had tears of joy. I had to survive a few incoming waves from within the house though, of "WHY"s "What the heck"s and so on... And i knew i had to do something before the waves turn into Tsunami. Yes, i had to do something...
Well for a few months i have just played Northgard at home. I will never play multiplayer RTS games again, too engaging, kills all your time. I could have made a game in the same amount of hours...
Meanwhile i have been writing the second book of the Shargad Saga series. I actually have written a long time ago but things had changed. Now i had to edit but it was more of a rework, a huge rework. I have almost rewritten the whole thing. I had settled a nice Northgard in the day, writing in the night type of routine. Meanwhile just to resist the terrible storm in the house (yes all elements were used by my parents, air, water, earth, add to that the frightening stories of Hellfire), i started to look for a job half-assed.
Return of the lone wolf
I was happy, i had broken the rotten loop i was in, but i couldn't survive for many years without a job. Then i had this idea, to do sales, but this time, not in the pack, as a lone wolf. Like a mediator. I set up some arrangements with old clients for an event and scheduled a business trip to Spain. I was gonna go for business, but you know, also take a chill in Canarias. It could have been some relief. On paper, i was not idle, i would do some light negotiations and rest a week and then come back. Everything sounded good for me.
Then something happened. Crown in spanish. You know what it is. My trip was canceled because everyone in the event was scared their ass off. I still dnt know, how i was so ready to go. A few days later, the flight had been canceled anyway. So the idea of going to Spain and not coming back was good on paper, but in reality, it would have messed me up for sure.
My entourage who complained i was never getting out of home, now were praying for me not to go out. There was a worldwide crisis, but still time flied. I couldn't just not do anything. Then i remembered the quote of coach Snyder: "Adversity is opportunity in disguise." At that point, i guess my Turkish blood intervened. We are good at converting crises into opportunities. Yes, it was time. I had to make a game. But what game?
Even the cheapest Triple A game costed a million dollar. I didn't have so much money. I didn't know any dumb investor who would invest so much and then not reap what he sow exponentially. I guess it was another divine intervention this time. Darkest Dungeon saved my ass. I had bought it a year ago, never touched it because i had basically no time from work. However, now i had more time than anything. I played it and it did nothing but gave me hope, a good game with low resources is doable!
Even the world wasn't built in a day
Game idea was there long ago, it didn't happen out of nowhere like a revelation. I was thinking a lot whether a HoMM type of game could be done in Shargad universe and after playing Darkest Dungeon my mind had shifted towards that specific DD-like genre. Good thing about Shargad was i already had a strong story and built many races, cultures in the game, so i could make a game with Town system and bunch of playable heroes. Although Darkest Dungeon triggered my hopes, it wasn't quite the answer. I had something else in mind. Something more spicy. More towns, more quests, but less grind. Something where players would go for Hunt in the wilderness and come back Town, play some mini games and take a chill...
I was playing, thinking, processing my thoughts and searching for ways how i could get things done. Of course i purchased those online courses from udemy. And downloaded unity. But it didn't take my long to realize i had to spent 3 years to get to a point where i could call myself a programmer. Indeed, i couldn't be a good programmer. Because i don't have that much patience and i wasn't a well organized person. Two specs that each good programmer should have. So what i had to do? Surely find a programmer first, but how? Don't know anyone in the business in Turkey. Well, i had to start searching, somewhere, Linkedin for instance...
Every story has an end, but not right now
- Now lets take a break. Because since i didn't have enough time to write my book due to diving into the dev process too much, my writing impulses started to surge like the Sea of Tides in Shargad. I will stop here, probably write a second episode and explain how blindly i jumped into business, how my earlier programmers created a circus and alltogether we played a fake game of creating a game and the hard transition to now, where we at.
Where are we at?
Shortly, we are 1 month of excessive work away from creating a playable demo. We are rushing for the Steamfest in October. I am cautious because if we rush too much, we might lose control and mess things up in the long run. But this is also a great opportunity for visibility so we can't just neglect.
Yes, i am telling we because even though those other guys i am working with are all freelancers, they are putting a lot of work and time into this. Surely they have other work too, i can't expect people to put their time and effort for me and not pay them well enough. But i can't also pay well enough because... i said it. It is just personal resources man. No financer, no kickstarter and add to that wild recession in Turkish economy in the recent years. I actually feel pretty lucky to be where i am at! This project should have been collapsed long ago...
Praises to my buddies from across 10+ countries, who kept working together with me to help this dream come true. I am not gonna tell their names one by one, they will be written in the Credits upon full release anyway (also i am a bit scared someone can take them away from me). And hopefully, we will make it to the end. I really hope, nothing will collapse, after we have come so far.
Now my only plan is, not to spend too much time with writing here but the game script and dialogues.
And also, art direction, some UI design and a bit of voice acting. I don't count the excel sheets i have to prepare and explain to the programmer so he can apply to his framework. Thus, time goes by. We still need time, but i feel, something is coming. Darkness is upon us. No, not that. That is the classic voice line from any expensive movie trailer nowadays.
Though, truely, i hope something is coming. Just need some more push, a bit of blood, some sweat, and tears of joy like my manager had when i was gone. Bear with us. There is a nice saying in my country, "Best pear is eaten by the bear."
Our pear is yet too sour, but we will be right there with you when its ripe enough.
Join us in twitter
https://twitter.com/ShargadS
Discord channel is empty, but if you wanna join and just be idle, you are welcome.
https://t.co/rBLai7fyM5?amp=1
Regards,
Semih
P.S. I am pretty sure only 6% of the people who started the long read came this far. You are loved.
