Fantasy megasim and mad magnum opus Dwarf Fortress has a long and cherished history of absurd patch notes and bug reports, having gifted us with bangers like "Made the corpses of small animals that die out of water stop teleporting" and "Bug: Ghost of vampires still drink blood." With its first patch of 2026, Dwarf Fortress is already hitting the ground running in what's likely to be another year of unhinged update literature...
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