For Hammsterdammers, By Hamsterdammers
New Taqueria Talk of the Town!
Hamsterdammers have being going rabid over the Let’s Taco Bout It taqueria since its opening last ham year in De Mawen. Good luck finding a table at prime lunch hours - you may instead find lines circling twice around the block. The line is definitely worth it! At the end, you’ll be greeted by a perfect harmony of melt-in-your pouch cheese, salsa, and guac, wrapped in the crispiest, crunchiest taco you'll just want to nibble all day. For 20 seeds, you can get a 2 taco meal with a glass of tonic. This fiery food fiesta is already a fast favourite and arguably the best deal in town!
Serial Sewage Cover Thief Strikes Again
Following a series of unfortunate wet fur accidents, the hampawlice is investigating another case of missing sewage covers on Raathousestraat. The cause of the missing covers is still unknown, but our source at the hampawlice pointed toward theft as the most probable motive. But who would want to steal sewage covers? The saga of this strange case continues, and the hampawlice have now posted a 100 seed reward for anyone with tips or leads in the investigation- enough for a family night out at Let’s Taco Bout It!
Touching the Sublime
The Hamsterdam Philharmonic performed Mawler’s Symphony No. 2 at the Royal Concertgerbile to standing ovations. The audience was so deeply moved that there was not a dry eye in the house. The high bar has been set for the opening of this ham year’s concert season!
Delivery BeHAMoth!
Fueling a Cottage Industry of Plushy Hero Worship
Hamazon reported its 1,000,000,000,000th transaction today, marking it the most used shopping service in the 20,000 ham year history of Hamsterdam. Congratulations!
On a side note, the recent heroics of that hamster-fu fighting pup Pimm has created a cottage industry of plushies in Pimm’s likeness. Stores on Hamazon are cropping up overnight, delivering Pimm plushy orders via HPS to Hamsterdammers in all districts. Rodents have even been ordering them from as far as NYC, through a service called Kicktailer. Seems like a new era of heroic vigilante worship has dawned, but hey, at least someone is getting tonics off the streets and returning lids to garbage cans.
