The Ministry of Personal Data receives thousands of questions regarding personal data every day. By popular demand, we are publishing the key messages from the report "Personal Data: a 21st-Century Oxymoron" by our Wise Leader:
- Personal data is the invention of capitalist governments who subject their citizens to an opaque policy of double standards.
- By definition, personal data cannot exist in those countries where the primary goal is to ensure the safety of citizens.
- The safety of any citizen directly depends on how much the State knows about him or her. Our State knows absolutely everything about every citizen. Therefore, our citizens can feel safe in any situation.
- Every citizen of our safe State undergoes the annual procedure for the provision of personal data approved by the Ministry, from birth to the age of Blissful Sleep.
- The provision of personal data entails communication with the personal supervisor and the manager of the building where the citizen lives, as well as the provision of personal correspondence to the Ministry together with all audio and video materials collected on the citizen during the reporting period.
Regarding non-citizens, the Ministry of Personal Data Collection approves the following personal data depersonalization procedure:
- Visitors of Beholder 2 website are obliged to subscribe to the Ministry's Bulletin.
- Visitors of Beholder 2 Steam page are obliged to add the game to their Wish List, as well as follow the game.
- Compliance with the above requirements allows the visitor to avoid persecution by the Ministry.
- Failure to comply with these requirements will result in the immediate identification of the visitor using 137 unique parameters and a subsequent note being made of the visitor’s unreliability in their personal file.
- Compliance with the requirements during a second visit results in the immediate removal of all marks against the visitor's personal file and the recovery of their anonymous status.
- The Ministry already knows everything about the visitor regardless of the visitor’s status. Therefore, the fulfillment of the above requirements is a mere formality through which the visitor expresses their voluntary consent to Ministry policy, which, being approved by the Wise Leader, does not in fact require any additional approval from citizens or non-citizens.
Sincerely Yours,
The Minister of Your Personal Data
