If this is on your screen, it means our busted antennas finally worked.
You’d think sending a message would be easy: WiFi, upload, done. But out here in the tiny island of Porto Morto, every signal is stitched together with bubblegum and bat spit.
For those who don’t know already, C.A.R.E. hasn’t just invaded our home and started force-curing us, they’re scrambling our signals and blasting their own. You’ve probably seen their latest tone-deaf ad about how their “cure” will fix us big bad zombies. If not, watch below. (Warning: side effects include rage and uncontrollable eye-rolling.)
Pretty messed up, right? But what they don’t know is we’ve already started biting back, and the resistance has teeth.
The Bite Breakthrough
We discovered it by accident. One night at the trailer park potluck, everyone was roasting crats (half rat, half cockroach, all delicious if you don’t think too hard) when Randy’s brother Mortie was suddenly jabbed by one of C.A.R.E.’s planted vaccine syringes. He staggered around, terrified, half-human again.
In his panic, he tripped and fell, right into Randy’s mouth mid bite, suddenly: zap. The cure reversed.
At first, we thought it was a fluke. But then Dr. Noodlebrain ran tests. Turns out, there’s a weird interaction between the cure serum and the viral proteins in our bite. For us, it felt like the first real win since the invasion, a crack in their armor, proof they weren’t untouchable.
There’s just one problem: C.A.R.E. brought more CureBots than we’ve got mouths. We can’t bite an entire island by ourselves. That’s where you come in.
Why You?
We get it, and human life is no picnic either. You’re stuck in your own flavor of oppression:
Alarm clocks set by bosses who see you only as a number.
“Wellness” routines that feel more like performance art.
Doomscrolling news cycles that never let you breathe (what’s up with that tantrum-throwing orange man??)
Apps, algorithms, and AI are creeping in to chew up your jobs and critical thinking skills.
We know you've got your plate full, and we’re not asking you to abandon your humanity; we’re asking you to resist the same machine. For us, it’s C.A.R.E. For you, it’s whatever corporation or system feeds off your exhaustion.
This isn’t about zombies vs. humans. It’s about all of us vs. the monsters in lab coats and boardrooms. We don’t want to take over. We don’t want to spread the zombie virus outside our shores. We want to be left alone to rot in peace.
Help us set the record straight: zombies aren’t the monsters. Greed is.
And all it takes is one bite.
Your Invitation
Thankfully, it’s not too late. There’s still time to get bit.
If you join us, you’ll help us push back against C.A.R.E. and show the world what freedom really looks like. And when it’s over? You can go back to your human life, or, if you’ve had a taste of our chaos and community, you can stick around. Zombie life is pretty great once you stop worrying about moisturizer.
Either way, you’ll know you stood on the right side when history asks the question.
Our signals are getting stronger, but we need more allies to keep them alive.
Follow the rebellion, Wishlist Stay Dead on Steam. Help us grow the horde.