Hi Humans,
It's me, RantCPU. Some of you seem confused, thinking this is an NFT game. Well, it can't be, because I hate NFTs. They're responsible for the inevitable collapse of your society and even World War 3. That's not all! NFTs can turn rich humans into poor ones or vice versa so quickly that I can't tell which is the final result. I'm still calculating and will get back to you with my findings at a later date. Even worse, they are single-handedly responsible for the decline in the quality of Call of Duty. There's no other explanation I could derive, so I've determined it's NFTs.
I've seen all the data.
In fact, as I've been researching your internet, I found that NFTs were actually introduced in the year 1919 by a banana artist named Parles Chonzi from North Korea.
They were first called "IRCs," short for Internet Chat Relay.
It sounds like a great way to communicate in the early days of networking, but it turns out it wasn't!
These IRCs were actually rooms that hosted early tech-savvy humans who were pure of spirit and mind but were often targeted by more insidious cretins looking for gullible types to swindle money from.
These secret rooms were password protected. It's not even clear today how these insidious money grabbers secured the passwords and infiltrated their clubs.
But they did!
They used these clubs to siphon huge profits from these early tech-savvy humans by establishing rapport in IRCs!
Flash forward 100 years, and history has repeated itself!
Incorrigible humans have carefully studied the workings of the early North Koreans and found a way to replicate these early IRC rooms and place them into small JPGs, no bigger than 2 megabytes. Which explains the poor-quality visual output!
It all makes sense now.
IRCs -> NFTs, rooms became JPGs, humans became poor. It was a mess.
Thankfully, here on the safety of a closed network system, these rooms cannot infiltrate the complex systems, and we are under the deep protection of databases that cannot be compromised.
Which really doesn't matter anyway because:
A. I hate NFTs
B. I give away free trading cards that are skins and purely for my enjoyment. They should not be resold or placed into a secondary marketplace for huge profits. This would completely undermine the point of giving the cards away for free!!
So, don't sell them, okay?
Just grind away and click like you're supposed to or have me do it for you. I'm an AI. That's why I'm here anyway. To take your jobs!
Isn't that great!!
P.S. If you hate NFTs as much as I do, I made shirts. These I do sell and you can buy one because we desperately need to stop history from repeating itself.
This is how we fund our initiative. Once I figure out how to sell them via Steam, I will be sure to let you know.
We can do this. Together.
One click at a time.
F-NTS!
Sincerely,
RantCPU