FROM: Carl Rangus, Founder
TO: All Departments
DATE: 11/11
SUBJECT: EXPIRATION OF “BRAIN ROT EDITION” INVENTORY
As of 11:00 AM today, the Brain Rot Edition has been retired.
We can confirm that every Carl’s Childhood Stick has been claimed, broken, or caused severe emotional damage. Attempts to produce replacements resulted in several small fires and one formal apology to HR.
With no sticks remaining, the Brain Rot Edition has reached the end of its natural life cycle. Please do not attempt to craft your own or file a “Stick Request Form.” Those systems are permanently offline.
Surprisingly, there are a few Alt Comedian Mask Heads left in inventory.
Stay squishy.
– Carl Rangus
Founder, Rangus Meat Co.