>Go south
You are in a small ROOM.
>Look room
The room is dusty, cramped, and lit from overhead by a dying bulb.
In the corner of the room a MAN sits at a DESK, typing away at an ancient computer. In the middle of the SOUTH wall is a DOOR with a strange sideways 8 on it. To the NORTH is the hallway you just left.
>Look door
You attempt to examine the door, but your eyes slide off it. It is almost as if the door is resisting your gaze.
>Look man
Stepping closer to the man, the first thing you notice is his Adonis-like physique, the envy of everyone from here to anywhere that isn't here. Feeling yourself begin to drool, you struggle to tear your eyes away from the glorious sight, and finally succeed.
Lopsided upon his curly mop sits a battered old ten-gallon hat, and on his finger he wears a worn ring that looks as though he hasn't spent a day without it in his life. His face is covered with stubble, implying the man thinks of shaving as an action taken only to appease others' conceptions of what polite company should be. Oddly, he wears pajama pants.
>Look desk
On the desk, amid piles of unidentifiable junk, are several pictures of cats in various states of repose, and a picture of a smiling woman with a much-younger version of the man.
>Talk man
"Hmm. Don't get many strangers 'round here nowadays. Ya look lost. Ya lookin' fer somethin'?"
>Talk man
"A girl? Hah! Got a lotta girls here, stranger. She got a name, or are ya only good at takin' up space?"
>HIT MAN
The man grins eerily. "I wouldn't try that, if'n I was you."
>Talk man
The man rises from his chair, anger evident on his face and his hand balled into a fist. "WHAT did ya say?!"
>Talk man
"...that's...her name?" The man sits down again and looks at you incredulously. "Here I thought ya was jest' bein' rude. Must'a had some interestin' parents, that girl." He thinks for a minute, rubbing his fingers together. "Nope, never hear'd'a anyone goes by that name. Like I said, not many newcomers lately. It's quiet here."
>Go north
You make as if to leave, but the man motions for you to stop.
>Talk man
"Your girl. They might know more about her...in the Beta." He motions toward the strange door. "I can open it fer ya, but I don't like ta do that unless I have ta. Each time I open that door, things...change."
"I'll warn ya, just once. Them that goes in, well, they tend not ta come out again." He pauses, and a sad look flickers across his face. "Not all the important bits of 'em, anyway."
>Go south
The man types something into his decrepit computer - you are too far away to make out the screen, but the dust puffs from the creaking keyboard are clearly visible. The strange door, no longer resisting your inspection, opens.
From somewhere in the shadowy depths beyond the door you hear a green dragon say, "Awesome." You feel the disapproving stare of an arctic fox penetrate your very soul.
You step through...into a world beyond your most fevered imaginings.