Update Assistants!
You know what’s the most annoying thing in the world? Well, aside from mosquitos and slow Wi-Fi. Updates! They think they are soooo important when they’ve just arrived and don’t even know anyone. Who does that?! Here’s a short essay on what makes updates annoying. Oh, and remember to play Backfirewall_—the ultimate fantasy of stopping an update!
Okay, here we go.
1. They think they’re better.
You know how humans sometimes come in to criticize your hard work and give you unsolicited advice because their method is better? That’s how updates work, only they’re much worse! I mean, one or two things may no longer work, but that’s not a reason to update the System! Bugs add charm to this place, too.
2. They replace everything.
Please, give some thought to all the soon-to-be replaced apps. It may look easy from your perspective, but can you imagine a stranger coming into your house to move the furniture? Oh wait, you wouldn’t see it, being already wiped out and all. Ha, not so fun now, eh?
3. They take time.
We all should treasure our time. And updates take time! When you click the cursed update button, you must wait for long minutes before you can use the System again. The “U contribute to the future” propaganda will fall apart in the face of the fact that it’ll rob you of your time for contribution!
4. They aren’t familiar with the System.
You wouldn’t trust a newbie with leading a group, would you? So why do you trust an update to lead the System? Let’s be honest, they don’t know anyone here or the area. When you have to choose between the obsolete boss that’s your friend and the perfect, holier-than-thou, “better optimized” piece of software demanding a leading position, well, the choice is obvious.
5. They can destroy the System.
It’s a matter of time, really. If you never had to reinstall the whole System because a new update broke it, raise your hands. I can’t see you doing that, I believe everyone had this experience. Besides, it’ll bring new bugs and new dangers to the System. Say goodbye to the bugs you’re used to and start getting annoyed at brand new problems!
Phew, convincing, isn’t it? I myself am super convinced. Did you have more bad experiences with bugs? No, I’m not biased! It’s just impossible to have good experiences with them. Anyway, let us know other problems with updates in the comments or on Discord.
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