Kids today don’t know how good they’ve got it. Sure, the planet’s on fire and they’ll spend most of their future looking after me in a retirement home as I ramble about how good I used to be at Balatro, but have you seen the games they’ve been getting lately? Back in my day, children’s games were dismal 3D platformer movie tie-ins—not magical storybook adventures made with real love and care that ingeniously riff on 2D Zelda, yet also have tons of personality all of their own. Bah!..
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