Hello everyone. This is your host Kaftan von Kaffeeklatsch and you're listening to the Cosmic Millipede Podcast, the show about rocket ships, red quasars, and the search for extraterrestrial life. Before getting to today's interview, I'd like to apologize for the delay since our last episode. We've been quite busy preparing content for the new year, so it took more time than expected.
Today's sponsor is the Ghost in a Bottle Consortium. Do check out their upcoming Octopus City Simulation that's coming soon. You can already download a lengthy demo on Steam. Oh, and if you're reading the transcript after the episode, we took the liberty of adding the latest Octopus City Blues screenshots for you to admire.
Our guest today needs no introduction. I'm talking about the infamous business tycoon, the world's wealthiest person, and the founder of Kosmomash Rockets, Constantin Mandibule. Unless you've been living under a rock for the last ten years, I'm sure you're familiar with Kosmomash's long-awaited projects: the first privately-developed rocket to carry tourists to the moon, and the ambitious luxury resort they're building over there.
Monsieur Constantin Mandibule, thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to have this chat.
It's my pleasure, Kaftan. And please, there's no need for formalities. Just call me ConMan—all my friends do.
Uh… all right, Monsieur Conman. Last year was a very important one for Kosmomash, wasn't it?
Absolutement! It was also different—much more business-focused than previous years. Between showcasing our rocket prototypes publicly and at industry events, talking to potential partners, and onboarding new talent, comparatively less time was spent on developing rocket components. These activities were all essential for establishing a strong promotional foundation for this year's big launch. With that out of the way, we are currently back to focusing on construction.
How exciting! The prototype you unveiled during the Next Fest Aerospace Convention caused quite a stir among the attendees. Could you tell us more about it?
What I can tell you, Kaftan, is that it took a lot of hard work to finally get the prototype out the door. It was useful preparation for our final launch, too. For example, working with STEAM's [Editor's Note: Space Tourism Enforcement And Monitoring agency] launch regulations and cloud computing infrastructure forced us to optimize our release processes.
The feedback we received from the attendees was extremely valuable as well; while some of the casualties were avoidable, we continue to learn from every tragedy. Au fait, we just published a new version of our prototype specs a couple of weeks ago, fixing many issues encountered by real users in the wild.
The accidents were regrettable, but the altar of technology demands its sacrifices. What are some of the lessons learned from the launch of the prototype?
Euh... much of it has to do with improving the user experience. For example, our DAISY module is programmed to react to the needs of space tourists. However, as post-war treaties ban the use of AI, we have to manually write responses to every potential user query. Watching so many lab ra—err, people, try the demo helped us identify hundreds of new DAISY responses.
Another finding from the handful of unfortunate incidents was that the control systems were not very intuitive to first-time users. As the average space tourist isn't a trained pilot, we had to place large signs all over the space module—really obvious warnings such as "Keep the windows closed after launch", "Repeatedly press the red button to breathe", or "Carefully arrange the fusion matrix stack if the gradient is inverted".
There were, en outre, numerous fixes and rocket engine performance improvements. We also introduced two new cockpit views to track the current flight status: the Facts And Figures screen displays various metrics during and at the end of the trip, while the Calendar App keeps track of all the space debris collected along the flight path.
That's very interesting. The prototype must be much safer now, especially compared to the versions you tested at the INDIGO SKIES and SpaceAdventureX events last year.
Tout à fait! And let's not forget the Independent Rocketry Showcase, the Test & Fly event, and the numerous people who tried our prototype rocket kit at home and streamed it online. We're really thankful to everyone who got injured to get us closer towards uncovering the dark mysteries of the great beyond.
And closer to lining your pockets, no doubt. Moving on, you mentioned hiring new colleagues.
Oui, c'est juste. People are surprised when I say this, Kaftan, but I've been writing all of the company's press releases from the very beginning. I simply enjoy doing it! *laughs*. English is obviously not my mother tongue, and so a lot of mistakes were made. Thankfully, we now have a professional editor, Julia Seeholzer, to help us sort out all the there's, theirs, and they'res!
More recently, Shannon Mason, the celebrated composer also known as Pongball, has joined the team, and is already working on some exciting tunes. Some of these will be played during the long elevator rides to the underground mines beneath the lunar resort. Manual space labor doesn't have to be boring, after all!
Are we still talking about space tourists? Anyway, with all the feedback, exposure, and new colleagues, it sounds like you're on target for this year's big launch. What are you working on these days?
Like I said, the focus is finally back to developing new things. Last year we worked on a western themed area in the planned resort. We're wrapping that up while also constructing a magnificent coliseum and an underwater village. There's a lot going on behind the scenes that we can't talk about yet. We want it to be une grande surprise for our precious guests.
As for the planned launch, it's still going according to plan, and we're doing our best to meet our summer targets. With that said, the prototype showed us that no matter how much testing we do, actual users will keep uncovering all the bugs… I mean, easter eggs, we intentionally add. Quality Assurance remains the biggest unknown at the moment.
On the other hand, we've invested in a very solid foundation over the years, and everyone's doing their best to finally give humanity the salvation it so desperately needs. One way or another, I'm confident that this year is the year of Kosmomash. After all, we only need to ensure that half the tourists actually make it to the moon. How hard can it be?
Who knows? It's not like we're talking about rocket science or anything. In any case, thank you, Monsieur Conman, for your valuable time, and good luck with your ambitious plans for this year. I hope we get to talk again after the first batch of tourists make it to the moon.
Moi aussi! Thank you for having me, Herr Kaftan.