Chongqing!
"The Cyberpunk City"
A modern, sprawling municipality with a rich history spanning more than 2000 years: an ancient kingdom, a war-time capital; a place where the only thing hotter than the weather is the food, and the only thing hotter than the food is the passion we feel for this little place called "home..."
...Of course, none of you are interested in that, you just want to come and take selfies in front of whatever neon-lit staircase is trending on whichever social media service you're currently cripplingly addicted to.
And selfie you have! By the droves. By the millions. Right in our back yard. But here at Pathea, we don't get mad, we get with the times! Rather than sit around grumbling about how all the tourists are wandering into our apartment buildings and pushing all the elevator buttons, we've decided to cash in, baby!
Introducing……
THE CHONGQING JIEFANGBEI MY TIME RESTAURANT
That's right, we're proud to announce that we're boldly going where.. some... have gone... and mostly failed... before! But surely that won't happen to us!
How does it work?
Don't you just hate those "build it yourself" type restaurants with a hundred different ingredients and no advice given on what might work well together? Like, come on, you're the chef, tell me what's good here!
Well, we've taken that annoyance and turned it into a full-blown monument to human suffering! The My Time Inc. Food and Fun for the Whole Family Corporate Sponsored Gastronomical Experience is the first and ONLY restaurant that allows you to BUILD YOUR OWN MEAL, the My Time Way™! A way that is so unintuitive, so impenetrable, so baffling there's almost NO chance you'll end up with anything halfway edible; that's the FUN! Every meal is a roll of the dice, or... like opening up a loot box...?
Step 1: TEAR BOUNTY FROM THE EARTH
Grab your Axe, Pickaxe, and/or Pickhammer and start gathering in our first ever, real life "Abandoned Ruins!" Chop down our patented Noodle Trees, crack open deposits of Garlic Ore, shovel raw tofu into mine carts... you can even blow apart our spice caverns using REAL DYNAMITE! 10+ please, big kids only!
We'll even have real herbs you can pluck out of our Planter Boxes, grown fresh by our staff! Good frickin' luck with that, though, it's cloudy and foggy like 360 days out of the year here.
Disclaimer: "Cheese-lung" is not a real illness that can be contracted from our mines, it's all in your head.
Step 2: SHAPE CHAOS INTO FORM
Take your raw materials and shape them into yummy bite-sized goodness! Use a Civil Cutter to process your Noodle Lumber, turn your condiment ore into bars at the Furnace, blend any undesirables, go home with a souvenir you can treasure for life by injuring yourself on an Industrial Processor!
Step 3: ASSEMBLY STATION
Now it's time for all your hard work to pay off! Kinda!
Take the mishmash of oddly shaped ingredients you just made and take them to a REAL Assembly Station! That's right, it's a REAL flat steel platform, made of real steel and real flat, where each customer has two and a half minutes each to try to make sense of what they've crafted.
Step 4: ENJOY!
From here on out, the My Time restaurant is an ordinary restaurant, although the experience getting here was anything but ordinary, wouldn't you say!?!?
And after you've loved us the first time, here are some reasons to come back for seconds!
[WE'RE HIRING]
Due to the unanticipated overwhelming opening hype, we’re looking for several "Master Chefs" to join our team! No age limit, no prior real-world experience required, low education a bonus, actually.
Required Credentials: 100% recipe unlocks in both My Time at Portia and My Time at Sandrock.
We provide top-tier, state-of-the-art equipment: Cooking Pots, Advanced Cooking Stations, Grills, Drying Racks, and Blenders. No training necessary, just stand by the machines and press the "E" key to create culinary masterpieces instantly!
Send your "Resume" to:
[email protected]
Feature Roadmap for 2027:
-Give gifts to our staff to force them into friendship
-Less reliance on Carbon Steel Bars
-Commission Board: Make meals for other people!
-Using mad science to breed a real, live Yakmel
-We'll have you guys build a bridge to somewhere
-An extremely punishing stamina system (run out, we send you home)
-Research tree for unlocking new ingredients
-Bug fixes: Clipping through floor, cloned NPCs, etc.
In conclusion
How much could such an amazing experience cost? "This couldn't be cheap!" you may be thinking. And that's where you'd be right! Still, due to some questionable business practices and shady under the table dealings, you, the customer, can enjoy the My Time Restaurant Experience for the low, low price of...
600 GOLS per HEAD!
And by Gols, we mean USD. (4,123.83 RMB)
But don't worry, we're always thinking of our fans: check out these cool ways you can earn yourself a discount for sticking with us through thick and thin:
Discount Table (With Proof of Purchase):
My Time at Sandrock or My Time at Portia - 10% Discount
MTaS & MTaP - 20% Discount
Above + All Sandrock DLC - 30% Discount
Above + Everforward + Let's School - Heck, you may as well just take the restaurant off our hands; we're having second thoughts at this point.
See you there!
